It's a routine. I'm used to it." I guess my one time lover knew that I wasn't. To make matters worse, next time he is going to be gone for almost three months. I'm not looking forward to that except that it will give me some more time to think about what I want from our relationship, and whether I stand any chance of getting it. "I'll be in. I need to talk to you about my work. I'm not sure which way I should be going." Of course. Just drop by. I'll be happy to give you some direction."I put the phone down, remembering the insidious way in which Dawney had pushed our power games and thinking, "I'll bet you will." I gather up my papers and push them into the old, green, canvas shoulder bag I use. Last of all, I collect up the bundle of fetish magazines that I'd been working through. Once upon a time, they would just have been fun but, while the content still gives me a thrill, this time the purpose of my studies has been more "legitimate". I've been cataloguing the various references. A clerk across the way handed her a band bedazzled with diamonds, each and every facet reflecting a tiny image of her magnificence. I saw them all, and coveted each one. She gingerly pulled the ring across one knuckle and another. He gazed proudly at the prize that he would soon acquire, she gazed silently at the symbolism she wore. I willed my legs to action before I had any notion of what was happening. My feet fell hard on ceramic, my legs heavy. As if my head were gliding independently of my body, I watched with steady eyes as I drew closer. Perhaps no eyes were on me now, but I felt as if there was no one more important in the world. ‘Take that off,’ I said in a hollow monotone. She looked at me. He looked at me. They all looked at me. Now, the eyes were real. While he remained numb, silent, she asked her question. ‘Excuse me?’ ‘Take it off,’ I reiterated, now indicating the ring she wore with an extended index finger. ‘If you don’t, then you can’t walk out of here with me..
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